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There is no person that does not have a past version of themselves that is not pleasant to think about.
But, when that past version is holding pain, has experienced trauma, and has not experienced the relief/release from what they have endured, they show up in ways that are going to continue to impact our health. I don’t say that to scare you, but to be realistic about unaddressed hurt. The fear to think of them is often because they have all those messages we heard in the vulnerable moments. If you think of them, think of how old they were when they heard what they heard, and saw what they saw. Our hesitation to hold this version of us close, and to care for them is often confused with thinking we are going to experience their trauma again. It’s like two innocent people in the dark corners of an empty room terrified of one another, and yet both are the others heroes.
As you think on this, please consider what role compassion could play in reaching a scared part of you. What role could compassion play for you as you go back and remember some undesirable things in an effort to find relief from them. Imagine compassion being this beautiful starlit energy in the middle of that room, that pulls you both from your dark corners. It’s shimmering light helps you see things as they really are. Innocent. Pure. Afraid. Doing what they can to get by. And then, you are able to see that while it does hurt to remember what they went through, your love and adoration helps them find peace.
None of this is simple. This is hard work. It takes time. This question was/is relatable to so many because we believe it was our fault. Look for the center of the room. Let compassion meet you there, and let that be your guide on how all past parts of you find acceptance, relief, and peace.
I’m so glad you’re here!